Oops

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I haven’t posted in a while, feel kinda bad.

On the plus side, I’ve booked tickets to see Alter Bridge in October and I haven’t been this excited about a gig since 2008 when I saw Paramore.
Not only are Alter Bridge playing, but their supports are Shinedown and Halestorm, which quite frankly.. are two of the best ‘metal’ bands around at the moment.

I may have seated tickets but there’s a very high chance that, since it’s at Wembley, I can sneak down into the standing area and not even get noticed which is what I plan on doing, unless I have a perfectly clear view of all the sexies on stage.

SO EXCITED SOMEONE HELP ME.

\m/

What A Wonderful Life, My Friend

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What A Wonderful Life, My Friend

If I had to dedicate one single song to my great grandfather, it would be Wonderful Life by Alter Bridge.
The lyrics, everything about it just makes me think of him. He was my best friend, my mentor, my grandfather and also my father at the same time. I’ll never forget how amazing he was, how calm and loving he was and how he always took me under my wing and helped me through everything.
He made me the happy woman (if I can call myself that really..) that I am today.
I’m happier than I would be if he’d never been there. That man made me into a woman with morals and love for everything and everyone one.

So.

Thank you, grandad! For everything.

“Close your eyes,
And just hear me sing,
One last long goodbye,
One last song before you spread your wings.

There’s so much left to say,
And before this moment slips away

What a wonderful life,
For as long as you’ve been at my side,
And I want you to know,
I loved you so.

The cold night calls,
And the tears fall like rain,
It’s so hard letting go,
Of the one thing I’ll never replace

And soon you will be gone,
But these words, they will live on.

What a wonderful life,
For as long as you’ve been at my side,
And I want you to know,
I’ll miss you so,
And though our days come to an end,
No, I’ll never love like this again,
What a wonderful life, my friend.

All that I am,
You let me be,
I will remember you,
For all that you’ve done,
And given to me

Love will remain,
This I can see,
Now and forever more
Because of you,
Now I believe
I believe.”

Moving Out.

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My best friend and I are currently looking at houses/flats/apartments to rent in the area we live in at the moment (we both live at home, pretty close to each other), and some of them are actually so lovely it’s unreal.
And, I found a three bedroom house for just £795 a month, 3 bedrooms and if we get three people together that’ll be around £265 a month to pay each!

This means I’ll have to either start working more hours at the co op (ugh), or get a new job that I actually enjoy doing, which would be care work.

I only get paid, at the moment, around £300 a month.. which is pretty crap, considering.
If I want to move out, and have this place and just live as independently as possible then I’m going to need to sort something out.

It’s lucky for some really, seeing as my best friend earns about a grand each month. He’s a joiner, works with wood and stuff. If we were both joiners the rent would be a complete breeze and we’d still have loads of money left over for bills and stuff.

Jeez, I seriously need a new job before we start looking properly. Ugh.

Help.

~ Emily

Moving Out.

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My best friend and I are currently looking at houses/flats/apartments to rent in the area we live in at the moment (we both live at home, pretty close to each other), and some of them are actually so lovely it’s unreal.
And, I found a three bedroom house for just £795 a month, 3 bedrooms and if we get three people together that’ll be around £265 a month to pay each!

This means I’ll have to either start working more hours at the co op (ugh), or get a new job that I actually enjoy doing, which would be care work.

I only get paid, at the moment, around £300 a month.. which is pretty crap, considering.
If I want to move out, and have this place and just live as independently as possible then I’m going to need to sort something out.

It’s lucky for some really, seeing as my best friend earns about a grand each month. He’s a joiner, works with wood and stuff. If we were both joiners the rent would be a complete breeze and we’d still have loads of money left over for bills and stuff.

Jeez, I seriously need a new job before we start looking properly. Ugh.

Help.

~ Emily

Early Mornings

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I’m up at 9am when I probably don’t even need to be up until around 10am. I actually came downstairs at around 8.30am as well, so today is going to be a long day.
The reason I’m up this early is ’cause I’m waiting for my ukulele to get here. It’s an amazon order so it should be coming in the royal mail post, like it usually does. It’s a big box I’m guessing but the postman can deal with a ukulele right? At least I’m hoping he can!

I actually hate the fact that the post comes this early. It could come around 1 or 2pm when I know for a fact that I will have woken up of my own accord without the help of a stupid alarm that doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘off’ and just keeps snoozing for 10 minutes and then going off again even when I’m physically up and have pushed the word ‘off’.

I’m going to have a lot more of these early mornings come september though.
College starts, and then I’ll have a month of being nervous about not knowing where to go or what to do and then I’ll end up hopefully being okay.
But either way I’m going to have to start getting up at around half 6/7 o clock, otherwise I could end up missing my first day of college and that’s not something I want to do. Ever. Not in this course anyway. Any other college course I’ve done before I didn’t give a damn about, but this, this is the start of my career now. I can’t do anything that is going to knock me off that road, no matter how small the knock might be.

I’m gonna take a light nap on my sofa and hopefully be able to wake up if the door goes (we don’t have a doorbell so listening for a light tap on the door is what I have to make sure I can hear during a nap… great)

~ Emily

First Meditation!

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So I just meditated for 15 minutes straight.
Nothing distracted me apart from the odd moment of the tv sound coming into my room from my parents room. But I blocked it out straight away.
I basically chanted ‘may i be filled with calm’ over and over, then singing along to this in between my personal chants – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbgHZWwyhcQ

I thought maybe I could last the whole 24 minutes, but after a while my legs started to ache and then more distractions started to seep through the little walls I’d put up in my mind.

Despite the distractions, I actually feel so calm and content with everything right now that I’m actually not bothered whatsoever that I have to go to work in just under an hour.
In fact, I’m actually looking forward to it as there are a lot of things that try my patience at work. This will be the perfect thing to do after that meditation session. Work.

Don’t get me wrong I’m still not entirely happy that I have to go to work because this means I don’t get the evening to myself, however I’m not ‘effing and blinding’ about it like I usually do to my parents and my pets.

Meditation is definitely something that I can see helping me through work every weekend. Something that is going to help me through those times that I really don’t want to be doing. And eventually leading me to a calm natured persona that hopefully doesn’t get angry at the slightest thing.

I’ve tried meditating before but it has never worked until right now.
I am so happy with myself that I actually lasted 15 minutes. It didn’t even feel like 15 minutes! It felt like 5, and when I started getting distractions I was about to kick myself until I noticed the time, then instant calm just flowed through me. Head to toe.

For once my little baby bearded dragon isn’t even annoying me with how much he wants to move around my room and try to chew everything in his sight.
For instance, as I was typing that I noticed he was chewing my toothbrush.. if I hadn’t just been filled with total calm I would have flipped out and probably had a moan to my dad in the other room. Instead I just pulled the toothbrush away and placed it in my bin.
I can buy another toothbrush, after all. It’s not the end of the world, eh? Plus my workplace sells toothbrushes, so everything is just perfectly working out because I’m being calm and actually thinking things through rather than lashing out and having a go at everything and everyone for pointless things.

I think my bearded dragon may be getting sharper teeth, he’s actually chewing everything right now. That explains why he was gnawing on the bristles of my toothbrush. May have to get him something he can chew on whilst he’s in his tank.

I actually can not believe how calm I am!
I know I’ve read books about how amazing meditation makes you feel and that if you constantly do it, like a routine, then that calmness will be with you throughout the whole day/week/month/year/lifetime! I never thought it would feel this good!

Guess I know why monks are so god damn happy with the simple things in life!

~ Emily